news, musings & gratitude

It's been a busy couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, we got news that Gary's employer will be closing the location where he works on December 15. We chose to embrace this as an opportunity. He'd been looking for a different job anyway, with a chance to upgrade his skills and licence to drive a bigger truck, for more money. The one obstacle had been how to get training (driving school) while still having an income. We talked about the options and threw that one out to the universe -- and now it looked like the universe had answered. The lay-off will come with a month's severance pay and the opportunity to cash out the small balance in his 401K. Since then, he's heard back from a company he'd talked to before the news, and hopes to start soon with them, tho he's keeping all his options open.

We had a great time at the Fall Festival at Jenny's farm last weekend. Gary drove the tractor for the hayride. He sent the photos to his folks on the subject line of 'driving a tractor-trailer' which prompted some concern from his Mom about him driving a semi truck.

Gary, Dan (in blue shirt) & Scotty (red shirt) on the hayride at the fall fest.

This morning, Gary copied me on an email he'd sent his parents about his job-change plans. His Mom had expressed some apprehension at his plans to drive bigger trucks. In the email, he writes "Mom, no need to be apprehensive about me driving a bigger truck-- it's what I want to do, in order to support my family. Pays better than I've been getting at OfficeMax. Even so, OfficeMax pays about the most for this kind of delivery work in the area. I didn't realize how much the desk work back east was eating me up in terms of stress. I was working myself sick. Yes, delivery work pays less, but cost of living is lower here, I'm happier with it, I get to drive, I get to see and do different stuff every day, and I love that my customers are happy to see me. It feeds my soul; not like at the Pentagon where the look on my customer's face as I came in every day said, "oh, it's you." Also, I can more directly see the results of my labors. Anyway, I'm a lot happier now than I was back then.... So don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Besides, Dan can't wait to see me driving a semi!! Funny story-- a few weeks ago I rented a truck because my regular one was in the shop. It was a smaller truck, and when Dan saw it he asked Sylvia after they dropped me off, "Mom, why did they make Dad drive that ugly little truck?"

I was touched to read this -- to be reminded again that the freedom of my life here with the boys each day is the result of Gary's commitment and desire to support our family. When I consider how I can 'support our family' I think about how we'll spend our days pursuing the boys' interests, having fun learning and finding joy along the way. I get to think about spending my days with the boys, and our friends -- which is what feeds my soul. Gary has managed to find a way to provide for our needs and feed his soul, but doesn't have the luxury of spending all his days with us. When I hear him speak about his days at a gov't job at the Pentagon -- I knew him then, we met working at the Pentagon (yes, impossible to believe I ever worked there if you know me today!). I remember how unhappy he was then. Not even in touch with himself enough to be able to identify the unhappiness that permeated his life. In retrospect, I can see how those days left him depleted -- unable to really find his path because all his non-work time was spent recovering from work, escaping the demands of his life then on his days off. He is a much happier man today and much more in touch with his joys and desires. I love that we're all so much happier, and living a life that feeds our souls, filling our days with joy and wonder. And I'm so very grateful that Gary's been such a generous partner along this path.